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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25024720">It's You</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/aelie_earle/pseuds/aelie_earle'>aelie_earle</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Drama, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Force-Sensitive Reader, Inappropriate Use of the Force, Kylo Ren Has Issues, Kylo Ren Needs a Hug, Kylo Ren is a Himbo at times ngl, Protective Kylo Ren, Reader-Insert, Sarcasm, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Smut, ish, perhaps</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 07:33:36</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>8,899</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25024720</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/aelie_earle/pseuds/aelie_earle</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p><i></i><br/>---------------------------------</p><p>  <i>“I thought that I would be capable of changing the future, but now I realise every action I have taken in an attempt to avoid what I saw, has led to it.</i></p><p> </p><p>  <i>“The fall of the Jedi.</i></p><p> </p><p>  <i>“And the fall of the Sith.”</i></p><p>-----------------------------------</p><p>After Hux had come into leadership he had created a division within the engineering department that would specialise with working with Higher Command and their commissions. You were perfectly fine in your position as head of Shuttle maintenance, but your Commanding Officer had put you up for the position. At the time you had believed him when he said it was due to how “you showed far more promise than any other candidates” due to how fast you had progressed and how young you were at the time. You knew now however, it was because the old man didn’t want to have to deal with the higher ups…</p><p>...ass.</p><p>-----------------------------------</p><p>I honestly don't know how to write summaries except using excerpts, so basically we love another engineer Y/N fic, and yes I do be rewriting the sequels.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kylo Ren &amp; Reader, Kylo Ren &amp; You, Kylo Ren/Reader, Kylo Ren/You</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>33</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Haven't written a fic in a while, but hope y'all enjoy :]</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><i></i><br/>
---------------------------------</p><p> </p><p>  <i>“I thought that I would be capable of changing the future, but now I realize every action I have taken in an attempt to avoid what I saw, has led to it.</i></p><p> </p><p>  <i>“The fall of the Jedi.</i></p><p> </p><p>  <i>“And the fall of the Sith.”</i></p><p> </p><p>  <i>-----------------------------------</i></p><p> </p><p>  <i></i></p><p>You awoke with a start, alarm sounding itself from the datapad next to your bed. Head throbbing with a headache the result of yet another poor night's sleep. You groaned as you sat up, covers falling down to your waist as you rubbed the sleep from your eyes. </p><p>Nightmares again, images of fire and destruction flashed behind your eyelids as you attempted to recall the subject of last night's torment. You shuddered and got out of bed, instead focusing on the task of a shower and changing into your uniform to distract you.</p><p>---------</p><p>The canteen was only starting to fill out as you arrived, and you thanked the Gods that the extra minutes you had spent under the hot water of your shower hadn’t led to you having to wait in a longer line for breakfast. If you could call it breakfast.</p><p>Suddenly you felt two hands grab at your shoulders, jarring you out of your musings on what slop to choose today. A head of gold hair entered your vision as your Engineering Assistant, Aiden, slid in front of you.</p><p>“Morning Officer Y/N, you’re looking terrible this morning!” He grinned at you with perfect teeth, and you shoved him out of the way with a hand on his chest as the line started to move forward.</p><p>“Thanks, you ass, it’s almost like you shouldn't be talking to a Superior Officer like that.” you muttered after pointing at which slop you had finally decided on- the Order claimed that it was “nutrient-rich” and “edible”... you had your doubts- and started to walk away from Aiden to the nearest empty table.</p><p>“Awww, don’t be like that Y/N, we both know you love me too much to write me up.” he said, jogging to keep up with you and sliding into the seat opposite.</p><p>Aiden was always ridiculously chipper in the mornings, which was why you usually went out of your way to avoid him until first briefings, maybe spending that extra time in the shower wasn't so much of a good idea after all.</p><p>“We both know the only reason I don't write you up is that somehow, despite all your other shortcomings, you’re a good engineer.” You replied looking up from the mush you had been pushing around your plate.</p><p>Aiden gasped, “Keep talking to me like that Y/N and I’ll seriously start thinking you do have the hots for me.”</p><p>You rolled your eyes, mouth half full as you uttered “Ha. Ha”</p><p>You were about to continue with another snide remark but the sound of your voice was drowned out by an announcement from the overhead speakers.</p><p>“All Tier 4 and above personnel to Conference Room 6G for Briefing at 08:30.”</p><p>Aiden turned away from looking at the speakers to your face. “I didn't know there was a briefing today?”</p><p>“Dammit, yeah they moved it from next week to today, something about one of the Commanders not being here.” You replied cursing at yourself under your breath and shoveling another spoon of your breakfast into your mouth.</p><p>The realization dawned that instead of spending your morning tucked away working on some new command shuttle specs as you had planned, you would now be stuck listening to General Hux drone on for an hour if not two. Despite your high ranking in terms of engineering on the Finalizer, these briefings rarely had much to do with your department and were unfortunately mandatory despite the fact.</p><p>“Oof, guessing I won’t be seeing you until past 10:00, and we’ve got those new interns starting today,” Aiden continued, his rank as assistant placing him far below Tier 4, and thus with an obligation to less than half of the briefings you were forced to attend.</p><p>“I was going to make Mina deal with them anyway, I’ve got too many request forms for Commanding Shuttle Spec reforms to finish, and now I've got even less time to deal with them.” You replied fingers starting to work circles at your temples as the added stress worsened your headache.</p><p>“You know I could always have a look at some of those request forms, Mina could too.”</p><p>“Yeah, right.” You shook your head and chuckled looking up at him. But from the determined furrow at his brow, he looked as if he meant it.</p><p>“I'm serious Y/N, we’ve all been thinking you've got too much on your plate recently.” </p><p>You scoffed “ Yeah, unfortunately it's my job Aiden, and as the most senior in the department I’m the only one authorized to fill the requests.”</p><p>“No one else has to know, they can’t stop you from letting us give you ‘advice’ on certain specs” He continued, rushing the words out to stop you from interrupting.</p><p>You sat up in your seat. “No, Aiden.”</p><p>“Come on Y/N, you’re drowning in work right now, Hux is breathing down your neck about that position in Weapons Development, won't you just let us help you out?”</p><p>“That position was discussed in private” you hissed, glancing around to see if anyone was listening to your conversation- luckily the personnel left in the cantine were too preoccupied with forcing down their breakfasts to pay much mind to you both.</p><p>“You know I didn't mean-”</p><p>“As your Commanding Officer, I’m ending this conversation now.” You stood up and looked down at him, still sitting with his mouth half-open, shock at the change in your tone of voice painted across his face.<br/>
“Tell Mina that the two of you will be handling the new interns for the next week, and I want a report from you on their progress on my desk at the end of each week for the next month.” With that you turned away from the table, returning your tray and striding out of the cantine before Aiden could even begin to think to stop you.</p><p>----</p><p>Your mood worsened as you found your seat in the conference room. Despite how rarely your input was called on, and how little these meetings often applied to your Engineering department, your position had you seated at the main conference table, instead of up in the  viewing gallery or in the shadowed corners of the rest of the room with your colleagues.</p><p>After Hux had come into leadership he had created a division within the engineering department that would specialize in working with Higher Command and their commissions. You were perfectly fine in your position as head of Shuttle maintenance, but your Commanding Officer had put you up for the position. At the time you had believed him when he said it was due to how “you showed far more promise than any other candidates” due to how fast you had progressed and how young you were at the time. You knew now however, it was because the old man didn’t want to have to deal with the higher-ups…</p><p>...ass.</p><p>You arrived earlier than intended after storming out from breakfast, in your head however you refused to consider your exit anything other than dignified. Normally you would filter in with the main body of those attending, being too early ran the risk of other Senior Officers attempting to either: put in an unofficial request or try to convince you to fast-track any already submitted, or engage in conversation. You didn't know which one you considered to be worse.</p><p>Luckily, the officer next to you was already deep in conversation with someone on his other side, and the seat on your left was still empty. Having nothing else to do and the meeting not scheduled to start for another 20 minutes, you took out your datapad to have a look over some of the schematics you had finished last night. Once finished you moved onto one of the requests recently put in. At least that way you would have something to think about during the meeting instead of looking zoned out for the hour- Gods you were hoping it would only run for an hour, but with Hux leading the meeting, that was unlikely.</p><p>Speak of the devil, the room quietened and stood at attention as the redhead himself marched into the room, arms braced behind his back. You quickly hid your datapad away, raised your arm in salute and steeled your focus to the head of the table at which he arrived. Captain Phasma joined his side and your eyebrows creased in confusion as to where the last of the Triumvirate, Commander Ren, was. </p><p>You were brought out of your thoughts by Hux announcing the start of the meeting, and with that, you took your seat once more and prepared yourself for the next hour, already starting to think of the additions and changes you would make to the Command Shuttle schematics you had looked through earlier.</p><p>You were just in the middle of thinking about the additional blaster power you could achieve by rerouting excess energy from the shuttle engine when the mention of your name had your head whipping towards its source.</p><p>“Officer L/N” Hux repeated, the crease in his brow and subtle harshness in his tone betraying the annoyance at having to repeat himself, bubbling under the surface.</p><p>“Sorry Commander, you were saying?” You hastily responded, spine straightening to meet the challenging gaze of the other Superior Officers. </p><p>You had long been aware of their poorly hidden distaste at your position in Higher Command, half of them thought you were sleeping with Hux to get the position due to how quickly you had attained it. The other half had theories ranging from familial ties to sabotaging the other candidates for the position- at least that was what you had heard from the more gossip-inclined troopers.</p><p>“As I was saying, Officer L/N, I can trust that we will be able to call on your advice and departments work with the last revisions for Starkiller’s cooling systems.” He responded looking straight ahead at the holographic of Starkillers internal systems.</p><p>“Of course Sir.” You respond, mentally groaning and reshuffling your schedule at the prospect of yet another high priority task being added to an already headache-inducingly long pile..</p><p>With your affirmation, the meeting continued, this time you kept an ear out for any other information applying to your department, lest you risk increasing any ire directed at you from Hux.</p><p>Thankfully not soon after, the briefing adjourned. You began to rise from your seat, preparing to leave but were stopped by your worst nightmare.</p><p>Hux calling your name again.</p><p>You turned towards him, a cordial smile plastered across your face in an attempt to hide the mental litany of curses you were currently stringing together directed at the bastard.</p><p>“Yes Sir?” You asked, voice lilting perhaps a little too high in your annoyance. Hux however failed to notice your frustration.</p><p>“I need you to stay behind for a moment to further discuss your upcoming work.” He then turned away from you to talk to the small group of Senior Officers surrounding him.</p><p>“Of course Sir.” You muttered out through gritted teeth. </p><p>Of course he would make you stay behind without any regard to your schedule. You stood behind your chair at the table, staring at your boots, whilst mentally playing out several fantasies involving Hux and a blaster pistol definitely not set to stun.</p><p>Whilst imagining a particularly satisfying scenario in which you shot Hux in the stomach in the middle of one of his rants, you heard the heavy clunk of boots at the entrance of the room. Your head automatically turned towards the sound out of instinct, eyes met with the imposing figure of Commander Ren entering the briefing room. What little chatter was audible from the few stragglers that had yet to leave quietened and you averted your gaze as he strode towards Hux at the head of the room.</p><p>“I see you’ve finally deigned to join us Ren.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hope this was alright, future chapters should be beta read from now on- so, sorry if there are any mistakes in this one. :]</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>so I haven't updated in a while..........uhhhhh, ciao anyways. </p><p>basically I struggled writing this chapter for some reason so took a break from it for a while :/. But I also had to spend a bunch of time researching stuff about the lore and stuff so its as accurate to the canon as possible, if I get anything wrong I apologise :]</p><p>But yeah, hope you enjoy, and please don't hate me too much for not updating. :]</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“I see you’ve finally deigned to join us, Ren.” Hux said, the corner of his mouth lifting up into a self-satisfied smirk. “Especially as this meeting was brought forward for your benefit.”</p><p>Despite hearing Commander Ren speak only on a few occasions, barely giving input to briefings and the occasional rise to Hux’s baiting; each time had left you with hairs standing on end, the same fight or flight feeling that woke you from nightmares. The sound of the modulator in his helmet distorting his words into more of a low growl than that of someone’s voice.</p><p>Despite the goosebumps that crawled across your skin, you couldn't help but think about the mechanics of his modulator as he spoke, “Perhaps you should make your complaints known to the Supreme Leader, General Hux. As he was the one who requested my presence.” </p><p>The smirk painted across Hux’s features disappeared, a mixture of frustration and fear in its place. “Well Ren, luckily for you, the briefing had little to do with your…expertise.” Hux smiled at that. You could see now more clearly the game between the two, as Hux so desperately clung to his superiority, you couldn't tell if Commander Ren really cared.</p><p>“How fortunate.” Commander Ren returned, “However, the Supreme Leader requests your presence.”</p><p>His smile straightened out as Hux turned to the few left in the room, quickly dismissing them before turning to you.</p><p>Your back straightened, eyes darting away from where you had been staring intently at what you guessed were the release mechanisms on Commander Rens’s helmet- the man himself too busy speaking in low tones to Captain Phasma to notice, at least that was what you thought.</p><p>“We will continue our discussion of your work on Starkiller later, I will arrange a meeting in the following days.” And with that he turned on his heel and strode out of the room, hands clasped behind his back as if he was incapable of putting them anywhere else.</p><p>You deflated a little in place, still aware of the other commanding officers in the room but unable to completely restrain your annoyance as even more of what precious little time you had was taken up by another meeting. You leaned down to pick your datapad off the table and turned to leave, nearly knocking into the wall of chrome that had maneuvered itself behind you.</p><p>You immediately stepped back, head bowing in mortification as a litany of apologies spilled from your lips at nearly bumping into Captain Phasma.</p><p>“Don’t worry Officer L/N, my mistake in sneaking up on you.” Despite the multiple ranks above you, you had always admired Captain Phasma. Despite being one of the most intimidating people on the Finaliser she had been incredibly respectful of your promotion and her commissions never had deadlines, which was always a way into your good books.</p><p>“Again, I’m sorry Captain. I should have looked where I was going.” This time you did look up at her, trying to determine any emotion out of Phasma was impossible when she still wore the helmet, but you attempted to find any marks in her posture or body language that would tell you if she was annoyed. </p><p>Nothing. Like usual.</p><p>“I was just curious as to how your work on my baton is coming along.” She inquired, a subtle tilt of her head betraying what you felt was genuine curiosity in your work. Unlike many of the other commanding officers on board, Phasma regularly showed interest in the progress and details of your work.</p><p>“It's actually coming along far better than I had hoped.” You responded, mouth turning up at the edges into a smile as you continued to talk, “I was able to fix the containment field and optimize the baton expansion a lot faster than I thought. It should collapse and expand much faster than before now, with less strain on the micromesh matrix.” </p><p>You realized you had been staring off into the space beside Phasma’s head as you explained, mind visualizing the work you had been doing on the batons inner compartments. You turned back to look at her now and her helmet tilted to the side again, “Excellent work as usual, I expect nothing less from the best engineer on board.” You blushed at this, blood rising to your cheeks as you stuttered out your thanks and appreciation of her praise.</p><p>“Well officer L/N, I will be going then. I’m sure I’ll see you on delivery of my baton soon?” </p><p>“Of course Captain.” You smiled again, usually you didn’t hand deliver any commissions, but Phasma’s praise and genuine appreciation was worth the time spent taking it to her.</p><p>With that she turned to leave and you quickly realized you were the only one left in the briefing room, well, only you and Commander Ren.</p><p>You turned to face him, intending on saluting and taking your leave, only to jump at finding him already fixing his gaze on you. At least you guessed he was, his helmet facing your direction and with no-one else left in the room there was little else to hold his attention.</p><p>For a second you stood there dumbstruck, eyes peering into the inky blackness of his visor before realizing you were essentially having a staring match with one of the highest-ranking members of the Order. You looked at your feet for what felt like the thousandth time that morning and saluted for the appropriate amount of time before scurrying out of the room and down the hall out of sight.</p><p>You realized your heart was beating faster than usual and decided it was probably best to take the long way to your working quarters, best to avoid the high command areas of the ship lest you run into Hux again, or worse Commander Ren.</p><p>--------</p><p>You finally arrive at your department's workrooms after your little detour and stopped short of the entrance, mind focusing back on the present and the fact that the main workspace would be busy with the 3 new interns starting today. You sent a prayer that begged for them to already be started on their assigned minor tasks, too engrossed with not screwing up their first day to notice you sneaking past into the refuge of your office. </p><p>With a deep breath, you entered the workspace, 4 heads perking up at the sound of the blast door opening.</p><p>Fuck.</p><p>3 heads held those wide-eyed stares of new hires and the 4th’s, belonging to Aiden, eyes held a million questions as to why you were even later than the two of you had expected. You shook your head minutely at him as you walked past the various worktables strewn with mechanical instruments and parts, your argument with him that morning too fresh to deal with, and the mountain of work waiting in your inbox and in your office with a greater claim to your attention. He gave you a look that said he would end up cornering you later about both breakfast and the meeting and then returned to what he was working on.</p><p>You had nearly made it to your office until the view of the door was blocked, albeit not fully, by the short figure of your second assistant, Mina.</p><p>Her dark hair was even more of a disheveled mess than usual, tied up into a signature bun that struggled to keep strands from falling into her almond-shaped eyes. It looked like work was going to have to wait, at least the enjoyable kind.</p><p>You gestured tiredly to your office door, accepting her silent request- if you could call it that, to talk.</p><p>The door slipped shut behind the two of you as you made your way across the room to your desk. Despite still holding some contempt for your previous Commanding Officer, Kilvin, for stitching you up with High Command, you couldn't complain about the perks.</p><p>The new position afforded you your own office. The space was custom designed by yourself to fit your needs, and if you had taken liberty of what seemed like the First Order’s endless budget then who was to blame you really. Your office boasted 4 fully equipped and optimized worktables, each currently covered with their own project in different stages of construction. You had several interactive holographic projections spanning the walls for calculations and schematics, a small cot in the corner for nights spent working late, a door on one of the walls leading to a refresher, and finally, a desk at the head of the room, covered in holo and data pads that housed all of the paperwork and request forms for your work.  And it wasn't as if your office was the only area of the department that benefitted from a huge budget, the main workrooms of the department were essentially models of your office scaled up, with more heavy-duty equipment.</p><p>You sat down behind your desk, pulling up your inbox and resource sheets onto the monitors in front of you as Mina situated herself in the seat opposite. You rubbed at your eyes, internally groaning at the fact that your speed walk through the main work area meant you would be without a cup of caf for the next 2 hours until lunch. </p><p>You turned to Mina, the look on her face making it clear that Aiden had filled her in on your little spat this morning. Great.</p><p>It’s not that Mina would take sides, it was more the fact that she would be silently judging you for the next week for pulling rank that had your mouth opening in preparation to explain yourself.</p><p>She beat you to it, “As much as I appreciate the extra help with the interns this week, I can’t help but feel as if the cost of Aiden bugging me with “Do you think she was really mad at me?”, “Do you think I should go apologize?”, “No I’m in the right I shouldn't apologize.” for however long it takes for you to deal with him outweighs the benefits.”</p><p>You sigh, “I suppose he’s filled you in then?”, In your anger this morning, you had forgotten how personally Aiden seemed to take things, had you had the same conversation with Mina, not that that was likely, she would have brushed it off by the time you had arrived at the briefing room. But no, whilst Aiden could take all the jokes in the galaxy, he could never deal with people being genuinely angry at him.  It was a miracle he stayed in the engineering department long enough with you before you could scoop him into what was of no doubt a far cushier department.</p><p>“Yup, and you know I don’t care, but with the new interns around, now probably isn't the best time, especially as you're supposed to be the acting superior here”.Whilst all this was said only half looking up from her datapad, you knew she was serious.</p><p>Sometimes you wondered why Kilvin hadn't promoted her to the position instead of yourself.</p><p>“I know, I'll fix things with him at lunch, but you know he oversteps sometimes and I don’t have the patience at the moment with Hux breathing down my neck.”</p><p>Mina’s gaze softened, she knew more than anyone the amount of work you had on your plate. She had noticed the number of assignments you'd been forced to offhand to her in the last couple of months and had only recently confronted you about sleeping in your office a few nights too many the past few weeks.</p><p>She noticed the way you seemed to be unconsciously rubbing at your temples and changed the subject. “How was the meeting?”</p><p>“Mostly the same as usual, Hux wants to schedule a meeting about a visit down to Starkiller though.” You sighed, pinching the bridge of your nose, and then began to rub at the strain you felt building behind your eyes.</p><p>Mina groaned, rarely seen frustration peeking through her usually maintained front, annoyance making itself known in the lines that appeared on her forehead and in the curve of her frown. </p><p>“Gods, what did the engineers screw up this time?”</p><p>“Hux said something about the cooling systems, I don’t know what’s so hard about maintaining thermal oscillators but apparently, the department on Ilum just can't hack it.”</p><p>“Do you know when you're leaving?” Mina said, voice not hiding the dread she felt for you.</p><p>“No idea, but I imagine Hux will enjoy informing me at his pleasure, plus I don’t know if it will be just me heading down.” You tilted your neck side to side, feeling it pop as you began to sift through your inbox on the screen in front of you.</p><p>“Well until he does decide to demand your attention away from us here, I need to go over the briefing from this morning and the intern’s reports whilst I have you.”</p><p>You sighed, sitting up in your chair and opening the reports Mina had already sent you, before gesturing for her to begin. </p><p>Gods you really were starting to regret not getting even a single cup of caf.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I spent a bunch of time planning out the next like 10ish chapters so there should be actual updates more regularly now lmao. I really love reading and responding to comments so feel free to drop one down below.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Mina had recounted her report in an absurd amount of what was clearly passive aggressive detail the result of being forced to deal with Aiden in your absence, and you had barely even begun to start what you considered to be the real work of the day when Sola popped her head through the door. </p><p>“L/N, it's time for lunch, you coming?”</p><p>“Yah, just give me a minute okay.”</p><p>“Sure, me and Aiden are gonna herd the interns to the canteen so just catch up with us when you can!” She smiled, eyes disappearing, you couldn't help but note how her personality differed from Mina’s in every regard, and how good of friends the two were despite the fact.</p><p>Her head disappeared, Sola sneakily leaving the door ajar which would force you to get up to either close it or actually join them for lunch. Through the gap, you heard the telltale sounds of packing up and the jostle of moving chairs and tools being set down as everyone left the room and set off for lunch.</p><p>Realizing it probably wouldn't be the best idea to skip out on a department lunch on the interns’ first day, thus creating an even worse first impression on the lot of them than you had already, you pushed back your chair. Stretching your arms up above your head and cracking your neck from side to side, you stood up and began to make your way out of your office and towards the canteen.</p><p>--------</p><p>You walked into the mess hall, a tray of ‘food’ in your hands. The interns all sat at a table together with Sola. You didn't blame them, out of all the senior staff she was the most approachable and frankly the least- outwardly that was- intimidating of you. Your eyes scanned the hall, feet taking you to the table you usually shared with Mina and Aiden. Mina’s eyes locked with yours and you saw her mutter an excuse to Aiden opposite her, before getting up from the table and making her way over to the caf dispenser. She gave you a meaningful look, her eyes darting back and forth between you and Aiden's figure, you could almost hear her say “Sort things out” in that tone of voice she used when reprimanding you.</p><p>Right then.</p><p>You made your way over, placing your tray opposite his and effectively stealing Mina’s seat. He looked up from his food, and you picked up the second cup of caf on your tray before holding it in his direction.</p><p>“A peace offering.” You said, a soft and apologetic smile twisting at the corners of your mouth.</p><p>The tension in his shoulders released and the lines on his forehead smoothed over as he smiled wearily back, taking the cup from your hand and taking a sip.</p><p>You sat down opposite him, really looking at him this time as the apology you had been practicing for the last few hours spilled from your mouth.</p><p>“I’m sorry. I shouldn't have pulled rank on you like that”</p><p>He looked up at you over the rim of his cup, “I know.”.</p><p>“And I’m sorry for acting as if I’m the only one with a lot of work on at the moment, I know the whole department is busy and despite being your commanding officer”, You paused sighing tiredly, “Despite being your commanding officer, you are one of my best friends and I think we both know I would have gone insane by now if you weren't here with me.”</p><p>He chuckled before going silent in thought, and before you could finish he began to speak “It’s fine Y/N, I shouldn't have provoked you with the whole job thing, and I know your short on sleep at the moment, I shouldn't have pushed it like that.”</p><p>You sighed in relief, staring down at your own cup of caf in your hands. “Thanks Aiden, you know I wish I could offhand more projects to you guys but the department's position here is precarious enough and I don't wanna risk any breaches in protocol. As soon as this whole Starkiller business is finished there should be less inflow anyways.” You smiled and noticed Mina walking back to the table coming up to sit next to you.</p><p>“So did you two make up then, I was getting sick of the both of you moping in silence all morning” Mina spoke before taking a sip of her caf and staring at the two of you, eyebrows raised expectantly.</p><p>Before you could utter a word Aiden chimed in, a shit-eating grin spread across his face as he said “Y/N gave me this heartfelt apology, and as her best friend,” He winked in your direction, “I felt it only right that I should accept it.”. You reached over to smack at Aiden’s arm, but he saw it coming and moved out of the way.</p><p>A feigned look of sincerity appeared on his face, “Frankly, she was close to tears Mina, you should have seen it” He managed to dodge yet another swipe at him, and broke into laughter.</p><p>“Well now that that’s sorted.” Mina reached down to take her datapad off her belt and placed it in the center of the table. A holo-schematic sparked up and both you and Aiden audibly groaned, Mina started on a rant about a problem with thruster systems she was having. Whilst Mina’s eyes were trained at the projection you looked across at Aiden, his own face turned towards you- the two of you shared a smile and the three of you began to discuss possible solutions.</p><p>------------------</p><p>Back in your office, stomach full and in somewhat of a good mood for once- due both to finally having caf in your system and being back on good terms with Aiden. What was supposed to be a pleasant afternoon of hands busy with wiring on a blaster pistol belonging to some high up General you couldn't remember the name of, was soured by the message waiting for you in your inbox.</p><p>A meeting had been scheduled with Hux. A meeting right before lunch the next day, that would no doubt run over and leave you having to eat in your office. </p><p>What felt like a visible storm cloud hovered over your head for the rest of the day, not even an offer of drinks in the officer’s lounge from a friend in the Navigation Department cheering you up. You had declined, deciding not to ruin her evening and instead opting for an early night to try and at least appear put together for tomorrow's meeting.</p><p>-----------------------------------------------</p><p>
  <i>There's rumbling in the distance and the sound stirs you from sleep.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Get up.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Get. Up.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>You stumble from your bed, feet scuffing against the stone floor.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Stone?</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Your head is muddled, the sound of rumbling echoes again. And you make your way to the door.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>You go to press the keypad to open the door but there isn't one, instead your hand reaches towards a handle and swings the door open.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Your heartbeat is quickening now and you look outside the doorway down the hall.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Get out.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>A flash of bright light outside the window opposite you stuns your eyes and you begin to stumble down the hall, listening to the voice in your head urging you to move.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Your brain is still foggy with the remnants of sleep but your head whips to the side as a large crack echoes through the hallway, its sound reverberating down your body, through your bones.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Get out. Now.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Your heart beats faster, lungs barely keeping up with the frantic breaths pushing themselves in and out of your mouth.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>No, it's not your lungs struggling to keep up, it's the smoke that's slowly starting to fill them that makes drawing each breath harder than the last. A bout of coughing wracks your body. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>You turn down the next hallway and glance out the window. The sky is brightening now, not with the rise of the sun, but with the growing flames that must be the source of all this smoke.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>The door that leads outside is a few paces in front of you now and your hand reaches for the handle, pulling hard to open and-</i>
</p><p>
  <i>The door won't budge.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Another bout of coughing and your head is even hazier than before, thoughts slipping through your consciousness like oil on glass as you struggle to think through the lack of oxygen.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>You try the handle again, and again, and again, and again.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Door not moving. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>Smoke filling your lungs. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>Eyelids growing heavy.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>The door flies off its hinges, your body collapses through its opening, eyes barely open as your head hits the stone of the courtyard outside.</i>
</p><p>
You woke up, sweat caking your hair to your face, neck, and shoulders. Covers kicked to a pile at your feet. 
</p><p>
 Air whistled in and out through your mouth as you tried to regain your breath, the phantom ich of smoke in your throat and the ache of a migraine making themselves known to you.
</p><p>
 You were starting to get sick of the same nightmare every night.
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Haha so about that updating regularly thing... haha.  Basically, my laptop broke and I didn't have access to any of this fic and it took forever to get my files recovered and then get a new laptop soooooo. forgive me please?</p><p>Anyyywaaaayyyyys hope u enjoyed, this chapter was supposed to be longer but my chapter plans changed around a little and it didn't sound right ending it later on in what I've written, next chapter will be longer to make up for both the long break and this one being short. :]</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Going to bed early was evidently becoming more and more advantageous, as the morning dawned and you went through the motions of showering the sleep from your body and dressing before heading out to breakfast. Aiden met you there and was, thankfully, subdued in comparison to normal, you had filled him in on both the embarrassment of yesterday's morning briefing and the upcoming meeting with Hux later on at lunch.</p><p>Aiden had kept the morning light, filling you in with brief excerpts on each of the new interns and how competent they seemed. By the time you arrived at the workroom, memories of smoke and fire no longer lingered at the edges of your mind. You walked through the sliding blast doors laughing at Aiden’s rendition of yet another one of Micah, another engineer in the department’s failed attempts at romancing one of the officers in Communications. </p><p>The interns' heads popped up at your entrance, for a second it puzzled you- but comparing today's entrance to yesterday’s you didn’t blame their confusion at the stark difference between the two. You gave a small smile and realized that you had yet to actually formally introduce yourself, let alone even talk to any of the three new faces in the room. You knew that the longer you left it the more of a distance you would be creating between yourself and the new hires, which wasn't really the atmosphere you strived to create here. Whilst you had never actually talked to the three of them, you had picked them from a roster of applicants that Mina had narrowed down for you, the least you could do was actually talk to them.</p><p>You cleared your throat and a handful of the other 12 heads in the department rose to look at you. Whilst the others still engrossed in their projects didn't look up to watch you, you knew they were listening, and you began to speak. </p><p>“I know I’ve yet to actually introduce myself formally to you guys, but this department gets a lot of work inflow, especially at the moment, which is the exact reason you three have been hired on.” After realizing that your little speech was directed at the interns, those who had stopped working to listen went back to what they were doing. “I’m your Commanding Officer Y/N L/N, you guys have already been introduced to my two assistant supervisors, Mina Orikan and Aiden Terrek. This department is going to be very different from the ones you were previously in, obviously not just due to the security clearance side of things, which you would have already been briefed on, but also in terms of what you will be working on.” You cleared your throat. “This isn't a competitive space, if you have a problem on one of your projects, chances are someone else in the room has either already had that problem before, or specializes in the category you're working on. If you're stuck, don't be afraid to ask the mentor you've been assigned” You got 3 sets of half-serious glares your way from who you assumed had been assigned to each of the newbies. “And that's about it.”</p><p>You sighed and began towards Mina’s desk, the low mumble of background activity started up again, and pockets of conversation began around the room.</p><p>Aiden came over to join the two of you. “Kriff, was that as awkward as it felt it was?” You muttered, rubbing at your eyes and leaning against Mina’s desk.</p><p>“Not nearly as bad as that one time a year back,” Mina replied, not looking up from her datapad.</p><p>You cringed visibly, body curling in on itself at the memory of you trying to appear to have a sunny disposition in front of the two new hires, and the subsequent mockery made of you at department drinks over the weeks that followed. </p><p>“Sovi still quotes it when she has one too many.” Aiden chimed in. Crossing his arms and leaning back opposite you and Mina on the workbench behind him.</p><p>“Why do you think I always steer her away from shots?” You replied, looking over at Sovi talking animatedly to a hungover Micah.</p><p>“Yeah well, at least it's over with. And speaking of shots…” Aidens eyes lit up, flitting back and forth between you and Mina.</p><p>“No,” Mina replied.</p><p>“Oh come on, we have a day and a half off tomorrow and Y/N’s gonna need them after her meeting with Hux.” he gave you a look that Mina, too engrossed in the code she was running over didn't pick up.</p><p>The puppy dog eyes he used on you were the final straw before you broke. You turned around to face Mina, joining Aiden opposite her. “Come on Mina, you need a drink just as much as the rest of us and not to egg on Aiden but it has been forever since we drank together.”</p><p>Mina finally looked up at you, to the untrained eye she looked as disinterested as ever but you could see the cogs in her mind working, the tiniest furrow in her brow showing she was actually considering it. </p><p>Your hopes were dashed when she opened her mouth, “We drank together 2 weeks ago, I distinctly remember because the two of you nearly cried over how much you missed Kilvin”</p><p>Aiden straightened up indignantly, “First of all you know better than anyone that Kilvin is a saint” You nodded sagely in agreement, “and secondly that was department drinks so it doesn't count.”</p><p>“He’s right Mina, come on please…” You could see it, see how close you were to convincing her. “Aiden will do that server coding for you” He turned towards you, betrayal in his eyes and mouth opening to object, but before he could refute it Mina sighed.</p><p>“Fine.”</p><p>“Yes!” You and Aiden said in sync, turning towards each other and high-fiving. Mina rolled her eyes standing up and grabbing her datapad before going over towards Sola.</p><p>You and Aiden shared a triumphant smile and you began to walk towards your office, intending on finishing looking over the reports from Illum in preparation for Hux’s meeting.</p><p>-------------</p><p>Despite having a surprisingly pleasant morning and having gone to bed early that night, the events of your dreams had you more tired than when you had originally lied down and this began to set in as you stood outside the door to Hux’s office. His assistant, whose name you tried desperately to remember but failed to conjure the name of, was attempting and failing to stare discreetly at you as you continued to stand before his door.</p><p>She was new and obviously was not yet at the point of having to psych herself up to talk to Hux.</p><p>She’d understand it soon.</p><p>Your knuckles hadn't even touched the blast doors before they slid open. A wall of dark clothing in front of you. You looked up and then staggered backward as your eyes met the darkness of Commander Ren’s mask for the second time in as many days. You straightened up, eyes averting to the floor as you swore for a second he paused before storming out past you, through the foyer and down the hall. You looked up to see a, more so than usual, red in the face Hux. Who after seeing you standing there, pulled down at the bottom of his military garb, straightening it out and clearing his throat. </p><p>“Officer L/N, come in.” He turned to go sit at his desk at the head of his room. And you took a deep breath before following into the room and taking a seat opposite him, taking out your datapad, ready to take notes down as he rattled off details about the upcoming trip.</p><p>-------------</p><p>Hux proceeded to spend the next hour fleshing out both the details of the trip itself and the departments you would be working with whilst on planet.</p><p>You looked at the time on your datapad, you were right, you were missing lunch.</p><p>You were shaken from your thoughts by Hux directly addressing you.</p><p>“And lastly I wanted to directly address the offer for Advanced Weapons on the Supremacy.” Whilst you were not the type to be easily intimidated, Hux had this way of staring directly through you, and whilst he rarely did it, it still left you with the urge to avert your eyes.</p><p>You didn't, standing your ground and preparing to rattle off the usual speech you did when confronted with this topic.</p><p>He pushed back from his desk, before standing and turning to look out the window that spanned the entire space behind his desk. </p><p>You took a deep breath, exhaling through your nostrils before he interrupted what you were about to say, “Your consistent results on board this ship and your consultant work on Starkiller has piqued the interest of several members on the Board of Superior Officers on the Supremacy.” He looked over his shoulder at you, a smirk playing at the edges of his mouth, “Of course, under my mentorship, you have risen very far in the ranks, and with my continued guidance, “ He looked back out the window into the void of space, “ you might even rise further.”</p><p>You rolled your eyes before schooling your features into what you hoped looked flattered but humble, “I am of course incredibly grateful for such an incredible opportunity, and such high praise” He nodded to himself, you could see a smug smile spread across his face in the reflection of the glass, “But I’m sorry, I can't accept the position, at least not yet.”</p><p>He turned towards you, an annoyed furrow of his brow and a frown replacing the smile that had spread across his features only seconds before. “Now Officer L/N there is no need to be humble-”</p><p>He was interrupted by the blast door behind you sliding open. Captain Phasma occupying the space in the doorway.</p><p>Hux stopped short, and his spine visibly straightened. “Captain Phasma.”</p><p>Her modulated voice sounded out in the room, her tone disregarding the obvious tension between the two of you, “Commander Hux, there’s been a development in the information we received, I need to consult with you about what we discussed yesterday.” </p><p>Hux turned back towards you, “You are dismissed Officer Y/N, expect a transmission from the head engineer on Illum in the next few days.” He gave you a look that you knew was just a thinly disguised threat to continue your conversation at a later date.</p><p>You stood, gathering your datapad, and turned towards Phasma and nodded at her “Captain Phasma”, you turned back to Hux, “Sir”. Before striding out of the room as quickly as was appropriate.</p><p>-------------</p><p>“To Captain Phasma” Aiden raised his glass, you and Mina following suit before downing the remnants of your drinks.</p><p>“My guardian angel.” You replied. You had recounted an abbreviated version of the meeting and how Phasma had, thankfully, cut your meeting and tense conversation short.</p><p>The three of you were sitting at a table in one of the main stormtrooper’s lounges. Whilst your title as a commanding officer gave you access to the Officer’s Lounge, it didn't really have the type of atmosphere to get plastered in.</p><p>“At least you won't have to deal with him when you're on-planet” Aiden supplied.</p><p>“Yeah, he’ll be too busy making speeches whilst the rest of us freeze our asses off in the cold listening to him.” Mina lamented.</p><p>You shivered in memory of your last trip to Illum and Hux’s 45-minute mandatory monologue.<br/>
Outside. In the snow.</p><p>“Actually only one of you will be coming with me.” Mina looked at you confused and Aiden's eyes lit up, no doubt at the prospect of not having to deal with the cold weather.</p><p>“What do you mean?” Mina shook her head, the action slightly exaggerated as the several shots Aiden had bullied the two of you into drinking began to take effect.</p><p>“I need to leave one of you here to look after the interns.” Your eyes flitted back and forth between the two, considering your options and they, in turn, averted their eyes, not wanting to draw attention and draw the short stick. “Don't do that” you elbowed Aiden in the side and shot a look at Mina. “I’m not making a decision yet anyways.”</p><p>You went to take another sip of your drink, finding the glass empty you turned to Mina and Aiden. “I’m gonna go grab another drink from the bar, you guys want one?”</p><p>“If it's on the boss, I couldn't possibly say no now could I?.” Aiden shot you a sickly sweet grin, batting his eyes as you stood up from the table.</p><p>You glared at him, but not whole-heartedly; he had, in his words “graciously”, bought the first two rounds. “Mina, you want another?” You turned towards her, opposite Aiden, her eyes were busy tracking someone at the bar. It was the redhead with the long braid she had been glancing at all night when she thought you and Aiden weren't looking.</p><p>“Mina?” Aiden drawled, teasing in tone as he called for her attention.</p><p>“Huh?” her head flitted back towards the two of you, smiling knowingly at her. “Oh shut up.” She rolled her eyes and tutted.</p><p>“Do you want another?” You gestured at the empty glass in her hand.</p><p>“Yes thank you.” She replied, eyes drifting back to the redhead.</p><p>“At least someone in this friendship group has manners.” You side-eyed Aiden as you began to walk towards the bar.</p><p>You ordered another round of drinks for the three of you, but before taking them back to your table you glanced back at Mina and Aiden. </p><p>Aiden was visibly moaning about something to Mina, who from the look on her face had heard this on several occasions before.</p><p>Whilst the two of them seemed distracted, you made your way over to the girl Mina had been eyeing for the better part of the night. “Hi,” You smiled at her as she partially turned to face you. “Sorry to bother you, but my friend over there with the dark hair and serious eyes” You pointed over to your table, Aiden still animatedly talking to Mina. “She’s a little shy, and don't tell her I said this, but she’s lowkey been debating making a move on you all night.”</p><p>A pretty blush dusted across the girl’s cheeks and she looked down at her hands. “The cute short one?”</p><p>You tried to restrain a smile, you could see why Mina liked her. “Yeah, just thought you should know.”</p><p>You gave her a small smile over your shoulder as you returned to your table. You set the drinks down and nudged Aiden to scootch sideways along the seat to make room. </p><p>“What were you moaning at Mina about this time.” You said, lifting your drink to your mouth and taking a long sip.</p><p>Aiden was flushed, face red and eyes slightly glassy- no doubt the drinks hitting him, he was more of a lightweight than he was willing to admit.</p><p>“Huh? Oh, nothing.” You turned to Mina and stared her down.</p><p>Mina looked back and forth between the two of you opposite her. Aiden began to shake his head at her, eyes pleading her not to cave. Her eyes settled on you and a smirk grew across her face, “His steadily declining love life.”</p><p>“Hey-”</p><p>Mina shrugged, “I made no promises not to snitch.”</p><p>Aiden glared at her across the table. </p><p>You turned to Aiden, eyebrows furrowed, “What about that girl from shuttle repairs, she really liked you?”</p><p>Aiden was too busy with his head in his hands to respond. Mina leaned over the table and stage-whispered to you, “Didn't end well, best not to broach the topic.” She mouthed an “I’ll explain later”.</p><p>You put a hand on his shoulder and gently squeezed. “Come on we're supposed to be having a pity party for me, not you.” He looked up at you. </p><p>Mina sighed, “Come on let’s go save the poor guy Micah is attempting to romance.” She nodded over at the bar, where you could see Micah attempting to pick up some poor stormtrooper.</p><p> You dragged Aiden up by the arm and quickly went to block Mina’s path.</p><p>She stared up at you confused, dark hair shining in the dim synthetic lighting. “Let me and Aiden go embarrass Micah, and-” You glanced towards the bar, catching the redheaded girl trying desperately not to look like she was staring at your table. “Thank me for being the best wing-man ever tomorrow, okay?” Realization dawned on her face, mixing with begrudging appreciation. </p><p>Aiden had begun to make his way to the bar, and you smiled and winked at Mina as you reached past to her to grab yours and Aiden’s drinks off the table before turning to go join Aiden.</p><p>-------------</p><p>Trying to get back to your room that night was proving a little more difficult than you had first thought. Whilst it was partially your fault that Mina had disappeared not long after your parting in the lounge, having to ferry, well more like carry, Aiden back to his own room was not exactly the easiest to do by yourself.</p><p>The two of you had spent the rest of the night drowning your sorrows in too many drinks, and whilst you were distracted with dancing with an officer from navigation, or was it communications? Aiden and Micah had decided to play a drinking game- the rules of which, when explained by the two seemed impossible to decipher.</p><p>Micah had also conveniently disappeared by the end of the night and after lugging an incoherent Aiden to his room you found yourself leaning back against the hallway halfway towards your own quarters. You debated just turning around and stealing Aiden’s bed, he could spend a night on the floor, it wasn't like he would be able to tell the difference in the state he was in anyways.</p><p>But no, you decided to soldier on. You knew from crashing in his room previously that your bed was not only bigger but comfier anyways. </p><p>This part of the ship was quiet at this time, the lighting dimmed to mimic a day and night cycle and your eyes grew harder to keep open with every step you took. The combination of weeks of not sleeping properly and too much alcohol proving too much for your body to fight against. You continued towards your room, muscle memory taking you closer and closer- side braced against the wall, hand feeling its way along.</p><p>You were too busy watching your feet, making sure you didn’t trip over yourself to notice the person in front of you. You staggered into someone's chest, head spinning as your eyes shut against the dizziness. Whoever you had bumped into was warm, and the combination of exhaustion and drunkenness sent you spiraling into sleep.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>yoooo, i actually updated??? and its a decent length???? anyways, hope yall enjoyed this chapter :]</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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